AAM Silicon Valley Showdown Demo Tape
Transcript
Steve White:
Okay, coming up next, Silicon Valley Showdown, subtitled Fastest Mouse in the West. And this the idea here is this would be something like a Ringo by Lauren Green. It’s a talk sing with a with a singing chorus.
Steve White: (Singing)
Somewhere out in the Wild Wild West,
there’s a town where they like computers best.
Instead of guns, they all have CPUs.
Which brings us around to the legend of two high-tech types and the girl they loved.
The day they met, one of them had to lose.
Two computer cowboys,
only one could be the best
at the Silicon Valley showdown.
Fastest mouse in the west.
Awooo
Down in the Silicon Valley saloon,
Pasquali the kid was playing Doom
and racking up an alltime real high score.
When suddenly something blocked the sun.
It was Wyatt Burp, the only one
whose shaggy figure could have filled that door.
“I’m looking for a certain female name of Helen. Met her on email.
Thought I’d take her back to my corral.”
Pasquali the kid showed a sinister smile and said,
“You can just delete that file cuz this is Helen here and she’s my gal.”
They looked at Helen.
She sure was pretty.
Playing a piano programmed with MIDI,
the kind of woman no man can live without.
Burp said,
“Kid, I am not fooling. My laptop’s loaded and ready for dueling.
You and I gonna to have to shoot this out.”
Two computer cowboys.
Only one could be the best
at the Silicon Valley showdown.
Fastest mouse in the West.
Awooo
Pasquali. The kid sipped his pizza sauce and said,
“Friend, I can kick your doss.
No man alive can top my processor speed.”
“Maybe you’ve had a lot of practice
pointing that cursor at a bunch of cactus.
But I’ll blow you away like you were a tumble weed.”
“I’ve just come from a real hard drive,”
said Burp,
“And there’s not a man alive
with the system whose kilohertz I cannot kill.
So just let the lady come with me.
Keep your finger away from that function key.
If you boot up, you’re going to boothill.”
Pasquali said,
“This is a real small town,
so one of us is getting powered down.
We’ll settle this outside when it hits high noon.”
Helen opened an indium totem,
revealing her powerful high-speed modem.
Her message said,
“Send help and send it soon!”
Two computer cowboys,
only one could be the best
at the Silicon Valley Showdown,
fastest mouse in the West.
Awooo
Out in the street,
the dust and wind blows.
People go running and
shut down their windows.
Wyatt burp straightens his hat with a steady paw.
“It’s time to log off,” Pasquali quips
as the sun sparkles on his silicon chips.
Both men smile and then they both say,
“Draw.”
Two mice were drawn just like lightning.
Buttons clicked with fingers tightening.
Hard to say which one of them was first.
But when the floppies all were fired,
no one was hurt or even tired.
That’s when Sheriff Cheese said,
“You’re the worst!
The fastest mouse in all the land
has already won Helen Henny’s hand.
That mouse is me,”
he told them with a frown.
Then, in a blaze of megabytes,
carefully keeping them out of his sights,
He ran those cyber snakes right out of town.
“My hero!”
Two computer cowboys really failed the test.
At the Silicon Valley showdown,
fastest mouse in the West.
Sheriff Chucky showed them
only one could be the best.
at the Silicon Valley Showdown.
Fastest mouse in the west.
Clippy clop. Clippy clop.
Steve White:
See, I threw in the- the clippy clops as a- as an adlib bonus.