River Boat Revue

Transcript

[Song: Camptown Races]

Sylvester & Tweety Bird: (Singing)

Camptown ladies sing this song

Sylvester, Sylvester Jr. & Tweety Bird: (Singing)

Doo-Dah

Sylvester & Tweety Bird: (Singing)

The camptown race track five mile long

Sylvester, Sylvester Jr. & Tweety Bird: (Singing)

Do-de-doo-dah-day

Tweety Bird: (Singing)

Twine to run all night

Twine to run all day

Sylvester, Sylvester Jr. & Tweety Bird: (Singing)

I’ll bet my money on the bobtail nag

Somebody bet on the bay

Sylvester:

Those were the days, when the Mississippi River was a flurry of activity. Steamboats, scowls, and barges plied their trade on the second longest river in the world.

Tweety Bird:

And so did some very famous people like Steven Foster, who wrote so many songs that everyone still loves.

Sylvester Jr.:

And a steamboat pilot who became one of the one of our greatest American writers!

Bugs Bunny:

Mr. Mark Twain. Y’know folks, those riverboats were something else. Menstrual’s, gospel singers, dancers, jugglers, why they were a variable circus on water!

Daffy Duck:

Jimmy cracked corn and I don’t care. Hey you know this is a pretty dumb song. I think we outta update it.

Sylvester:

Oh suffering succotash. Here we go again.

[Daffy starts playing electric guitar]

Daffy Duck:

Oh, Jimmy cracked corn! Woohoo! Yes sir, crack it baby! Hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo!

Bugs Bunny:

Oh boy, oh well as I was saying folks-

Daffy Duck:

Oh yeah? You can’t just shut me down like that! I was gonna add a whole new dimension to those tired old songs!

Bugs Bunny:

Hey uh, think kindly of him folks, as Mark Twain said “be thankful for the fools, without them the rest of us couldn’t succeed”

Daffy Duck:

Fool huh? Alright buster! You’re dissssspicable!

[Song: I dream of Jeannie with the light brown hair]

Bugs Bunny:

And now, an old Steven Foster favorite. Performed by none other than Pepe Le Pew and Yosemite Sam.

Pepe Le Pew: (Singing)

I dream of Jeannie with the light brown hair.

Ho ho ho ho!

Yosemite Sam: (Singing)

Oh Jeannie, my sweet Jeannie

I remember the first time I saw you standing across the room

You rolled your big blue eyes at me and I picked em up and rolled em back

Heheheheuh

Pepe Le Pew: (Singing)

I said I dream of Jeannie with the light brown hair.

Ho ho ho ho ho!

Yosemite Sam:

The first time I came to your house, I rolled up in my buggy and you come a running out. You were barking and biting at the tires! Heheheheheuh!

[Song stops]

Pepe Le Pew:

This is not the way we rehearsed it mon Ami

Yosemite Sam:

Well shucks Pepe, I thought I’d liven it up a little! Eh, alright go ahead. I’ll do it right.

Pepe Le Pew:

You are sure?

Yosemite Sam:

Slam them ivories frenchie, let’s get on with it!

[Song resumes]

Pepe Le Pew: (Singing)

I dream of Jeannie with the light brown hair.

Yosemite Sam:

She had lips like petals, bicycle petals! Heheheheh, ho I crack myself up.

Bugs Bunny: (Singing)

I dream of Jeannie

She’s a light brown hare.

Bugs Bunny:

Oh that reminds me of another song.

[Kentucky Home]

Bugs Bunny: (Singing)

The sun shines bright

On my old Kentucky home

It’s summer,

And everyone’s gay

The corn is ripe

And the meadows in the bloom

And the birds make music all the days

[Song:Swing low, Sweet Chariot]

Sylvester: (Singing)

Swing low, Sweet Chariot

Sylvester, Sylvester Jr. & Tweety Bird: (Singing)

Coming forward to carry me home

Sylvester: (Singing)

S- Swing low, Sweet chariot

Sylvester, Sylvester Jr. & Tweety Bird: (Singing)

Coming forward to carry me home

Porky Pig: (Singing)

I l- l- l- l- l- looked over Jordan and uh w- w- w- what did I s- what did I s- what did I s-

Sylvester, Sylvester Jr. & Tweety Bird: (Singing)

Coming forward to carry me home.

Porky Pig: (Singing)

A b- b- b- b- a band of angels c- c- c- c-

Sylvester, Sylvester Jr. & Tweety Bird: (Singing)

Coming forward to carry me home

[Song: The Fox]

Yosemite Sam: (Singing)

Well the fox went off one chilly night

Prayed for the moon for to give him light

For he’d many a mile to go that night

Before he reached the town-o, town-o, town-o

All: (Singing)

For he’d many a mile to go that night

Before he reached the town-o!

Yosemite Sam:

She had teeth like stars, they came out at night! Heheheheuh! Get it? Like stars hoho heheheh

Yosemite Sam: (Singing)

He ran till he came to a great big pen where the ducks and the geese were kept there in

A couple of you will grease my chin before I leave this town-o, town-o, town-o

All: (Singing)

A couple of you will grease my chin before I leave this town-o

Yosemite Sam: (Singing)

He grabbed a grey goose by the neck

Threw a duck up over his back, he didn’t mid the quack, quack, quack with the legs all dangling down-o, down-o down-o

Daffy Duck:

What?? A couple of you will grease my chin? Legs all hanging down? Quack, quack, quack?? Do you realize what you’re saying?

Yosemite Sam:

You interrupted my song you Lilly livered, bow legged varmint!

Bugs Bunny:

Eh, do you mind if we get on with the show? Such children.

Tweety Bird:

Hey Bugs, it’s my turn!

Bugs Bunny:

Sure thing Tweety! Now Tweety will sing um, um-

Tweety Bird:

Old Man River!

Bugs Bunny:

Right! Old Man River!

[Song: Old Man River]

Tweety Bird: (Singing)

Ahem, ahem!

[Tweety’s voice gets very deep]

Tweety Bird: (Singing)

Old Man River

That Old Man River

He must know something

But don’t say nothing

He just keeps rolling

He keeps on rolling along

Daffy Duck:

Ha! You call that entertainment? I’ll show you entertainment that would have knocked em dead on any riverboat show! Ladies and gentlemen, I will now attempt a feat never before seen by human eyes! I will take this bomb, let it explode in close proximity to my fragile little body and escape unscathed! Not one feather will be ruffled and of course, to protect you all from harm I will surround myself in this handy dandy bomb shelter! Quiet please. I must concentrate. Alright, one, two, three!

[The bomb shelter doors slide into place and an explosion sounds]

Bugs Bunny:

Bravo! Bravo! I didn’t think you had it in you Daffy, but that’s a really great trick you’re eh- Daffy?

[The bomb doors slide open to reveal an exploded Daffy]

Bugs Bunny:

Daffy?

Daffy Duck:

Tonight’s second performance of this terrifying feat has been- has been- ca- cancelled.

Bugs Bunny:

Welp, that’s showbiz. But don’t worry, Daffy will be back for our next show just like brand new! So thanks for joining us in our Looney Tunes Riverboat Revue!

All: (Singing)

I’m gonna lay down my heavy load

Down by the river side

I’m going to lay down my heavy load

Down by the river side

Down by

The

River

Side!

Porky Pig:

T- t- t- t- that’s all folks!