12 Shows Special

[Song: Catch a Wave]

All: (singing)

Catch a wave and you’re sittin’ on top of the world!

Beach Bear: (singing)

Don’t be afraid to try the greatest sport around!

All: (singing)

Catch a wave

Catch a wave

Mitzi: (singing)

If you don’t you best not put it down

Dook: (singing)

You paddle out turn around and raise

And baby that’s all there is to the coastline craze

You gotta-

All: (singing)

Catch a wave and you’re sittin’ on top of the world!

Oo-aa-oo-aa-oo-aa-oo-aa

Beach Bear: (singing)

Not just a fad cause it’s been going on so long!

All: (singing)

Catch a wave

Catch a wave

Mitzi: (singing)

They said it wouldn’t last too long

Dook: (singing)

They’ll eat their words with a fork and spoon

And watch ’em they’ll hit the road and all be surfin’ soon

And when they-

All: (singing)

Catch a wave and you’re sittin’ on top of the world!

Oo-aa-oo-aa-oo-aa-oo-aa

[Organ Solo]

[Guitar Solo]

All: (singing)

Catch a wave and you’re sittin’ on top of the world!

Oo-aa-oo-aa-oo-aa-oo-aa

Beach Bear: (singing)

So take a tip from a top-notch surfer bear!

All: (singing)

Catch a wave

Catch a wave

Mitzi: (singing)

But don’t you treat it like a toy!

Dook: (singing)

Just get away from the shady turf

And baby go catch some rays on the sunny surf

And when you-

All: (singing)

Catch a wave and you’re sittin’ on top of the world!

Mitzi: (singing)

Way up high, up on top of the world

All: (singing)

Oo-aa-oo-aa-oo-aa-oo-aa

Catch a wave and you’re sittin’ on top of the world!

Mitzi: (singing)

Way up high, up on top of the world

All: (singing)

Oo-aa-oo-aa-oo-aa-oo-aa

Catch a wave and you’re sittin’ on top of the world!

Oo-aa-oo-aa-oo-aa-oo-aa

Mitzi: (singing)

Way up high, up on top of the world

[Banjo jingle plays for 20s]

[Banjo and piano plays quietly over speech]

Billy Bob:

Howdy folks, I’m Billy Bob. That’s three B’s, two L’s, a I, a Y, and a O.

[Billy Bob laughs]

Its real nice yall could drop in on me today, things gets kinda quiet here at Smitty’s Super Service Station sometimes. What with the gas sit-i-ation the way it is n’ all.⁽¹⁾ We’ve had to stop selling gasoline altogether. Once it got past twenty five cent a gallon, I didn’t have no more friends what could afford it no-how. But… things’ll be alright soon- cause, as you can see, I’m making up a new fangled formula down here on the floor. Yeah its made of lots of good stuff and its in this little container and its gets all boiled up n’ everything, and it comes out this long tube…

[Billy Bob plays his guitar strings higher then lower in pitch while explaining]

All the way down into this barrel, and I call it Gas-O-Hol. Yeah, we can use it in our car, or drink it!

Billy Bob & Looney Bird: (singing)

And havin’ such a wonderful day

Billy Bob:

Hey there Looney Bird!

Looney Bird:

Hey there Billy Bob!

Billy Bob:

Folks, I’d like ya to meet my friend here, this here’s the Looney Bird!

[Billy Bob twangs his guitar in a high pitch]

I can’t afford a watchdog, so Looney Bird here moved in to watch over my secret formula!

[Another guitar twang]

How much Gas-O-Hol we got so far Looney Bird?

Looney Bird:

Just a minute Billy Bob I’ll go check and see!

[Another guitar twang]

Billy Bob:

Here’s probably gonna measure real accurate like exactly how much Gas-O-Hol we got.

[Guitar twangs in a worrying fashion]

[Elongated slurping noises made by Looney Bird]

[Guitar twangs drunkenly]

Looney Bird:

We ain’t got too much yet Billy Bob.

Billy Bob:

Oh dear.

Looney Bird:

I guess you better put on some more corn squeezin’s huh Billy Bob?

Billy Bob:

Yeah I guess I better. I just hope the Looney Bird don’t become some kinda Gas-O-Holic. Hey Looney Bird, its time for your favorite part of the show!

Looney Bird:

You mean its time to go already-?

Billy Bob:

No! I mean its time to get down and get funky- sort of.

[Song: Roast Beef Sandwich]

Billy Bob: (singing)

Roast beef sandwich and a- pizza

Roast beef sandwich and a- pizza

John and Jane and all the gang are gonna have themselves a ball

Eating roast beef sandwich and a- pizza

Roast beef sandwich and a- pizza

Roast beef sandwich and a- pizza

All the fellas and the chicks gettin’ calories and kicks

Eating roast beef sandwich and a- pizza

Billy Bob & Looney Bird: (singing)

Chompin’ to the music of the jukebox

Anybody got another dime?

Chompin’ to the music of the jukebox cause

We’re havin’ such a wonderful time

Billy Bob: (singing)

Just eating roast beef sandwich and a- pizza

Roast beef sandwich and a- pizza

Its terrific daddy-o

How the kids at school will go

For a roast beef sandwich and a- pizza

[Guitar solo]

Billy Bob & Looney Bird: (singing)

Chompin’ to the music of the jukebox

Anybody got another dime?

Hand it down and drop it in the jukebox cause

We’re havin’ such a wonderful time

Billy Bob: (singing)

Just eating roast beef sandwich and a- pizza

Roast beef sandwich and a- pizza

Billy Bob With Looney Bird:(singing)

Its terrific, its the most

And its happenin’ coast-to-coast

Billy Bob: (singing)

Eating roast beef sandwich and a- pizza!

[Song ends]

Billy Bob:

So long everybody! See you next time!

[Banjo jingle plays for 20s]

Rolfe Dewolfe:

Ok! Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls! It’s time for the Rolfe Dewolf show, featuring that master of comedy himself, Rolfe Dewolfe!

[Rolfe Hits the cymbal]

Earl Schmerle:

Hey Rolfe! You forgot to introduce your right hand man!

Rolfe Dewolfe:

Oh yeah! This cute little guy here is Earl Schmerle.

Earl Schmerle:

And this stupid looking guy here is Ralph Dewolfe!

Rolfe Dewolfe:

The name is Rolfe, Earl

Earl Schmerle:

Huh?

Rolfe Dewolfe:

Rolfe, my name is pronounced Rolfe Dewolfe not Ralph

Earl Schmerle:

Oh excuse me Ralph er- Rolfe uh, this stupid looking guy over here is Rolfe Dewolfe

Rolfe Dewolfe:

That’s better! Hey, we’re really gonna have some fun now! You know, Earl and I just flew in from Las Vegas last night and boy are our arms tired!

[Rolfe Hits the Cymbal]

Earl Schmerle:

What’d you do that for!

Rolfe Dewolfe:

What?

Earl Schmerle:

Hit the cymbal!

Rolfe Dewolfe:

Ok!

[Rolfe Hits the Cymbal]

Earl Schmerle:

Nooo, I mean why did you hit the it?

Rolfe Dewolfe:

Hit what?

Earl Schmerle:

Hit the cymbal!

Rolfe Dewolfe:

Ok!

[Rolfe Hits the Cymbal]

Earl Schmerle:

I’m talking about why you keep hitting that cymbal!

Rolfe Dewolfe:

Cause it’s real funny.

Earl Schmerle:

Well what’s so funny about that?

Rolfe Dewolfe:

I don’t know. But every time I do it people laugh!

Earl Schmerle:

Do what?

Rolfe Dewolfe:

Hit the cymbal!

Earl Schmerle:

I can’t, you’ve got the stick!

[Rolfe Hits the Cymbal]

Rolfe Dewolfe:

Hey Earl!

Earl Schmerle:

Yeah Rolfe?

Rolfe Dewolfe:

Are you ready for a knock knock joke?

Earl Schmerle:

Are you for real?

Rolfe Dewolfe:

Pay attention Earl, cuz here it comes! Knock knock!

Earl Schmerle:

Come in!

Rolfe Dewolfe:

No Earl, knock knock.

Earl Schmerle:

Come iiiiinnnn!

Rolfe Dewolfe:

Earl, knock knock!

Earl Schmerle:

Well come on in!

Rolfe Dewolfe:

Earl you’re supposed to say “who’s there?”.

Earl Schmerle:

I know who’s there, it must be you cuz you’s too stupid to ring the doorbell.

[Rolfe Hits the Cymbal]

Rolfe Dewolfe:

Hey, let’s get serious for a moment shall we Earl?

Earl Schmerle:

Sure Rolfe what cha want?

Rolfe Dewolfe:

Earl, I’m going out on my own.

Earl Schmerle:

What? You mean you’re going to split up the act?

Rolfe Dewolfe:

That’s right Earl, it’s time we went our separate ways.

Earl Schmerle:

You promise Rolfe?

Rolfe Dewolfe:

I’m serious this time Earl, I’m going to leave you.

Earl Schmerle:

But Rolfe, you can’t leave me! I’ve given you the best years of my life, you were nothing before you found me!

Rolfe Dewolfe:

That’s right! But now I’m a big star and I don’t need you anymore.

Earl Schmerle:

Have you lost your mind?

Rolfe Dewolfe:

Why? Have you found one? Hahahaha!

[Rolfe Hits the Cymbal]

Earl Schmerle:

Yeah, and I know it was yours cause I found it at the library!

Rolfe Dewolfe:

Oh, why- why thank you Earl for that compliment!

Earl Schmerle:

Yeah, they were using it as a door stop! Hahaha, hit the cymbal Rolfe.

[Rolfe Hits the Cymbal]

Rolfe Dewolfe:

Earl, I didn’t come here to be insulted.

Earl Schmerle:

Oh yeah? Where do you usually go? Haaaha

[Rolfe Hits the Cymbal]

Earl Schmerle:

You were just joking about leaving me weren’t you Rolfe?

Rolfe Schmerle:

Don’t worry Earl, I’ll keep you “on hand” for a while longer

Earl Schmerle:

All right!

Earl Schmerle: (Singing)

The whole world’s going crazy!

Rolfe Dewolfe: (Singing)

And that ain’t no reason for fuss!

Earl Schmerle: (Singing)

You ain’t no fun unless you’re crazy!

Rolfe Dewolfe: (Singing)

And no one’s as crazy as!

Earl Schmerle: (Singing)

No one’s as crazy as

Rolfe Dewolfe & Earl Schmerle: (Singing)

No one’s as crazy aaaaaaaaaaaas

Rolfe Dewolfe:

The Rolfe Dewolfe show!

Earl Schmerle:

Featuring Rolfe Dewolfe!

Rolfe Dewolfe:

And his trusty sidekick,

Earl Schmerle:

Earl Schmerle! How’d I do Rolfe?

Rolfe Dewolfe:

Ok!

Earl Schmerle:

Ok!

Rolfe Dewolfe:

Ok!

Earl Schmerle:

Ok!

Rolfe Dewolfe:

Ok!

Earl Schmerle:

Okkkkkkkkk

[Song ends with applause]

Earl Schmerle:

Us!!