Chuck E. Cheese Shows (CEC Best of 1988)

Tune Machine 1

Chuck E. Cheese:

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, prepare yourselves for the most stupendous, spectacular, fantastic, and fantasmagorical entertainment event of a lifetime! Presenting, The Tune Machine!

Pasqually:

Mamma Mia!

Helen Henny & Mr. Munch:

Wow!

Jasper T. Jowls:

Now hold your horses there Chuck E. I know we’re going to do our best to entertain these folks, but don’t you think you’re pouring it on a little bit thick?

Helen Henny:

Bagaw. Yes Chuck E, you should be more modest.

Chuck E. Cheese:

Hey! The Tune Machine is nothing to be modest about! It’s the most incredible invention in the history of entertainment, and I should know, I invented it.

Pasqually:

Say, that must be the big machine you’ve been tinkering with behind the stage up here!

Chuck E. Cheese:

That’s right!

Mr. Munch:

But Chuck E, what is The Tune Machine?

Chuck E. Cheese:

It’s part spaceship.

All:

Oooo.

Chuck E. Cheese:

It’s part time machine.

All:

Oooo.

Chuck E. Cheese:

Part jukebox.

All:

Oooo Wooo.

Chuck E. Cheese:

And part of a broken video game I found in back, in fact I have to put tokens in it before every show!

Helen Henny:

Bakaw. But Chuck E, just what does it do?

Chuck E. Cheese:

Well, no matter what song we sing, The Tune Machine can magically take us to the place we’re singing about!

[Everyone groans]

Pasqually:

Oh yeah? Uh huh

Jasper T. Jowls:

You mean if we were singing a song about outer space The Tune Machine would take us there?

[Everyone but Chuck E. laughs]

Chuck E. Cheese:

Exactly! Tune Machine!

Tune Machine:

Affirmative.

Chuck E. Cheese:

Do what Jasper said, take us to outer space!

Tune Machine:

Energize.

[Sounds of a spaceship taking off]

Jasper T. Jowls:

Wait a minute, I thought you were kidding!

Mr. Munch:

Holy cow, what’s happening?

Pasqually:

Did I ever mention my fear of flying?

Helen Henny:

Oh my, hang on b- boys!

Chuck E. Cheese:

Here we gooooooooooo!

All:

Woah!

[Song: Swinging On A Star]

Jasper T. Jowls:

Now this is really far out!

Chuck E. Cheese: (Singing)

Would you like to swing on a star?

Carry moonbeams home in a jar

And be better off than you are

Mr. Munch: (Singing)

Or would you rather be a mule?

A mule is an animal with long funny ears

Kicks up at anything he hears

The Warblettes: (SInging)

His back is brawny but his brain is weak

He’s just plain stupid with a stubborn streak

Chuck E. Cheese: (Singing)

And by the way, if you hate to go to school

All: (Singing)

You may grow up to be a mule

Chuck E. Cheese: (Singing)

Or would you like to swing on a star?

Carry moonbeams home in a jar

And be better off than you are

Helen Henny: (Singing)

Or would you rather be a pig?

A pig is an animal with dirt on his face

His shoes are a terrible disgrace, baw

Helen Henny: (Singing)

He has no manners when he eats his food

He’s fat and lazy and extremely rude

Helen Henny: (Singing)

But if you don’t care a feather or a fig

All: (Singing)

You may grow up to be a pig

Chuck E. Cheese: (Singing)

Or would you like to swing on a star?

Carry moonbeams home in a jar

And be better off than you are

You could be swingin’ in a star

All: (Singing)

And all the monkeys aren’t in the zoo

Pasqually:

That’s right!

All: (Singing)

Every day you meet quite a few

Mr. Munch:

I’ve met a lot of em’

All: (Singing)

So, you see it’s all up to you

Jasper T. Jowls:

Don’t monkey around!

All: (Singing)

You can be better than you are

You could be swingin’ on a star

Chuck E. Cheese:

So, what do you think of my Tune Machine now?

Pasqually:

It’s wonderful!

Mr. Munch:

Great!

Jasper T. Jowls:

Absolutely splendiferous!

Helen Henny:

Yes, it’s marvelous! And outer space is so beautiful, bagaw.

Pasqually:

Uh, Chuck E, can I try The Tune Machine now?

Chuck E. Cheese:

Certainly!

[Pasqually clears his throat]

Pasqually:

Tune Machine?

Tune Machine:

Affirmative

Pasqually:

Oh, uh- our next song takes us deep underwater! Can we go there please?

Tune Machine:

Energize

Chuck E. Cheese:

Underwater? Gee Pasqually, that’s a looong way down from up here.

Pasqually:

Oh, I didn’t think of that.

Mr. Munch:

Here goes nothing!

Helen Henny:

Hold your breath!

[Sounds of a spaceship taking off]

All:

Woah!

[The sound of a splash of water and bubbles]

[Song: Octopus’s Garden]

Pasqually:

We made it!

Mr. Munch:

Wow! The bottom of the ocean!

Jasper T. Jowls:

Good thing I’m part water spaniel!

[Munch and Pasqually laugh]

Pasqually: (Singing)

I’d like to be

Under the sea

In an octopus’s garden

In the shade

He’d let us in

Knows where we’ve been

In his octopus’s garden

In the shade

I’d ask my friends to come and see

An octopus’s garden with me

Pasqually & The Warblettes: (Singing)

I’d like to be under the sea

In an octopus’s garden

In the shade

Helen Henny:

Do you really think there’s really an octopus around here?

Chuck E. Cheese:

Nah, the sharks scare em off.

Pasqually:

You think there are sharks?

Chuck E. Cheese:

Nah, the whales scare them off.

Mr. Munch:

You think there are whales here?

Chuck E. Cheese:

Nah-

Jasper T. Jowls:

Hold it, hold it! If anything scares whales, I don’t want to know about it!

[Everyone laughs]

Mr. Munch & Pasqually: (Singing)

We would shout

The Warblettes: (Singing)

Woah oh

Mr. Munch & Pasqually: (Singing)

And swim about

The coral that lies beneath the waves

The Warblettes: (Singing)

Lies beneath the ocean waves

All: (Singing)

Oh, what joy for every girl and boy

Knowing they’re happy, and they’re safe

The Warblettes: (Singing)

Happy, and they’re safe

Jasper T. Jowls & Pasqually: (Singing)

We would be so happy, you and me

No one there to tell us what to do

All: (Singing)

I’d like to be

The Warblettes: (Singing)

Woah oh

All: (Singing)

Under the sea

In an octopus’s garden with you

In an octopus’s garden with you

Pasqually: (Singing)

In an octopus’s garden with you

Pasqually:

Chuck E, I admit I was skeptical at first, but I think your Tune Machine really is as great as you said it was!

All:

Yeah!

Chuck E. Cheese:

Thank you! If I say so myself, it’s almost perfect.

Helen Henny:

Bagaw, Chuck E what do you mean almost perfect?

Mr. Munch:

Yeah?

Chuck E. Cheese:

Well, I don’t have all the bugs out of it yet.

Jasper T. Jowls:

What kinda bugs? Water bugs?

Chuck E. Cheese:

No, no, no, no, no, it’s just that I haven’t quite figured out a way for it to get us home again.

Jasper T. Jowls:

You gotta be kidding me!

Helen Henny:

What? Oh no!

Pasqually:

What? What do you mean?

Chuck E. Cheese:

You see, it can only take us somewhere that we can sing about. And there just aren’t any songs about our restaurant.

Pasqually:

Then what are we gonna do?

Helen Henny:

Bagaw, looks like I’ll be the chicken of the sea.

Jasper T. Jowls:

Wait, wait. I’ve got an idea. We can just drive home!

Mr. Munch:

We can?

Pasqually:

But how?

Jasper T. Jowls:

Tune Machine!

Tune Machine:

Affirmative.

Jasper T. Jowls:

Tune Machine, put us in a fast car, on the highway that goes everywhere! Route 66!

Tune Machine:

Energize.

Chuck E. Cheese:

Good thinking Jasper, we’ll be home in no time!

Pasqually:

If we don’t get caught in traffic.

All:

Woah!

[Song: (Get your kicks on) Route 66]

Helen Henny:

Now watch where we’re driving b- boys

Jasper T. Jowls: (Singing)

If you ever plan to motor west,

Travel my way, take the highway that is best.

Get your kicks on route sixty-six.

It winds from Chicago to LA,

The Warblettes: (Singing)

To LA

JAsper T. Jowls: (Singing)

More than two thousand miles all the way.

Warblettes: (Singing)

Along the way

Jasper T. Jowls: (Singing)

Get your kicks on route sixty-six.

Now you go through Saint Looey

Joplin, Missouri,

The Warblettes: (Singing)

And Oklahoma City looks mighty pretty.

Chuck E. Cheese:

As long as we’re driving uh- does anyone here have a license?

Jasper T. Jowls:

I do! Of course it’s my dog license haha.

Jasper T. Jowls: (Singing)

Won’t you get into this timely tip

When you make that California trip

Get your kicks on route sixty-six.

Weeeeeell

Now you go through Saint Looey

Joplin, Missouri,

The Warblettes: (Singing)

And Oklahoma City looks ooo so pretty!

Jasper T. Jowls:

Woof, woof, woof, hi!

Chuck E. Cheese:

Everybody got their seatbelts on?

Pasqually:

That’s right Chuck E!

Mr. Munch & Helen Henny:

Yeah Chuck E!

Chuck E. Cheese:

Then let’s put the petal to the metal!

All: (Singing)

Will you get into this timely tip

When you make that California trip

Jasper T. Jowls: (Singing)

Get your kicks

Pasqually: (Singing)

On Route 66

Mr. Munch: (Singing)

Get your kicks

Helen Henny: (Singing)

On Route 66, bagaw

The Warblettes (Singing)

Get your kicks

Chuck E. Cheese: (Singing)

On Route 66

Jasper T. Jowls: (Singing)

Get your kicks

All: (Singing)

On Route 66!

Chuck E. Cheese:

Don’t go away folks, at the rate we’re going we’ll be back for more fun and music in just a little while! See ya then.

Mr. Munch:

On the road again! Just can’t wait to be on the road again