Olympics Show

[Song: Olympics Fanfare]

[Song: Movin’ On Up (parody)]

Fatz: (singing)

Well shapin’ on up

All: (singing)

Shapin’ on up

Fatz: (singing)

Gotta get it together

All: (singing)

Shapin’ on up

Fatz: (singing)

You gotta work to get the gold

All: (singing)

Shapin’ on up

Fatz: (singing)

That ain’t no lie

All: (singing)

Shapin’ on up

Fatz: (singing)

So, shapin’ on up

All: (singing)

Shapin’ on up

Fatz: (singing)

Gotta be fit ’n ready

All: (singing)

Shapin’ on up

Fatz: (singing)

Yea

Gonna do it now not wait ’till later

Not gonna be just a couch potat’uh

Yes we takin’ home all the gold

Do or die

Fatz:

Hello fellow athletes and fitness buffs alike. Y’all at ShowBiz Pizza and we the Rock-afire Explosion and ’lemme tell you what we doin’ here today.

[Antioch speaks in garbled sounds]

Hey- Folks, o-a-ah- alright folks y’know I can’t do it I-I I can’t even eat half a Twinkie I-

[Antioch continues making noises]

Yea I ate all them Ding Dongs.

[Antioch continues making noises]

‘Scuse me folks, let me- allow me to introduce my training coach, coach Antioch here who just happens to be the most in-shape creature on the face of the Earth. Meet my coach.

[Antioch continues making noises]

Look- look at the muscles and definition in them legs.

[Antioch continues making noises]

Al- alright coach alright. Get- w- get them tennie-pumps outta my face for a minute.

[Antioch continues making noises]

See folks, Antioch here is helpin’ me- watch what I eat and get in shape for the Olympics.

Antioch:

Yah!

Mitzi Mozzarella:

Wait a minute, Fatz how do you think you’re gonna get in shape eating Twinkies and Ding Dongs and junk food?

Fatz:

Well I’m trainin’ to be a sumo wrestler and that means I gotta get about double in size.

Antioch:

Yah! Yah.

Beach Bear:

Double in size?

Fatz:

Yea!

Beach Bear:

If you double in size you’re gonna have to apply for your own ZIP code!

[Song: Double In Size]

Fatz: (singing)

I’ll be bigger than Fat Albert

And Elvis Presley too

Don’t you ever get smart with me boy

Or I might sit on you

[Fatz laughs]

I’ll smash buses against buildings just walkin’ down the street

I’ll get stuck in every doorway and they’ll have to blast me free

When I double in size

Double in size

Every single part of me will double in size

I triple in size

Then triple in size

Every single part of me will triple in size

Quadruple in size

Quadruple in size

And when you see me boys and girls you won’t believe your eyes

Woah-oh-oh-no

Yeah-heh-he-he-y-y-y-yea

Woah-oh-oh-yea

Double in size

All:

Hey!

Beach Bear:

Hey not so loud!

Fatz:

Beach Bear are you sleepin’ again?

Beach Bear:

Well no I’m- checking for cracks in my eyelids.

[Fatz and Mitzi laughs]

Fatz:

I think you was sleepin’. How come you always sleepin’ up here on stage lately?

Beach Bear:

Yea-

Mitzi:

Fatz!

Beach Bear:

Huh?

Mitzi:

Fatz, didn’t you know that Beach Bear’s an Olympic hopeful?

Beach Bear:

Yea-

Mitzi:

He’s in training for the sleeping competition.

Beach Bear:

Yea- No! Its- well-

Fatz:

Sleeping competition!?

Mitzi:

Yea!

Beach Bear:

No its not actually a sleeping competition its the ‘Prolonged Dis-involved Synchronized Reclining Competition’.

Fatz:

Beach Bear what you talkin’ about?

Beach Bear:

Well- I’ll show you. Alright now everyone get in sync here. Put your head back. Let your jaw go slack. Let your eyes roll back in your head. And join me for the ‘Prolonged Dis-involved Synchronized Reclining Comp-’.

[Snoring]

Breathe out.

[Snoring]

Breathe in.

[Snoring]

Very nice.

[Song: Cover Me (Parody)]

Beach Bear: (singing)

The nights are tough yea

They’re long and cold

I shiver and shake from my head down to my toes

Cover me

I’m begging for your mercy

Cover me

I gotta sleep with little brother

And he always pulls the covers off of me

So cover me

Every night I freeze to death

Every night I suffer and its

All because my goofy little brother

Cover me

I’m turnin’ blue now cover me

I gotta sleep with little brother

And he always pulls the covers off of me

Cover me

I gotta sleep with little brother

And he always pulls the covers off of me

Ah please I’m turnin’ blue

I gotta sleep with little brother

And he always pulls the covers off of me-heee

Oh-hooo

[Song: 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover (Parody)]

Mitzi Mozzarella: (singing)

Oh I wanna be a gymnast

But I’m just so overweight

I got a thing for chocolate Kisses

And jumbo Milkyway

Beach Bear: (singing)

Ah- don’t worry girl

You’re gonna be okay there must be

Fifty ways to lose ‘yer blubber

Mitzi Mozzarella:

Beach Bear!?

[Mitzi Scoffs]

Beach Bear: (singing)

Yea-

Fifty ways to lose your blubber

[Mitzi Scoffs]

Mitzi Mozzarella: (singing)

Well its not really blubber

No its just some baby fat

Beach Bear: (singing)

Well I’m sorry if this offends you

But lets stick to the facts

So I repeat myself

At the risk of getting smacked

There must be

Fifty ways to lose your blubber

Mitzi & Beach Bear: (singing)

Fifty ways to lose your blubber

[Song: Unknown]

Fatz: (singing)

Stop packin’ yo face, Grace

Billy Bob: (singing)

Just knock of the packlin’ spacklin’

Beach Bear: (singing)

You don’t need no beanie weenie

Just listen to me

Fatz: (singing)

Hop on the scale, Gail

All: (singing)

We’ll wire yer’ jaw shut

Beach Bear: (singing)

Cut out the treats, sweet

Rolfe:

And lose that gut!

[Rolfe Laughs]

Earl:

Pipe out of it slack jaw!

[Looney Bird sings underwater]

Billy Bob:

Well folks here we are to interview Looney Bird who’s our Olympic hopeful in the uh underwater Yugoslovian uh- Yugoslavian folk dancing competition. Uh- how’s it going Looney Bird?

Looney Bird:

I’m doing great! How’s your training going Billy Bob?

Billy Bob:

Well not so good Looney Bird, did I tell ya I wrecked my bike?

Looney Bird:

No! What happened?

Billy Bob:

Well Looney Bird I’m supposed to be interviewin’ you! But to make a short story long-

[Song: Lucille (parody)]

Billy Bob: (singing)

Well I knew I found true love

The day I met Beulah

Riding my bike home from school

I was cuttin’ some peelies

And poppin’ some wheelies

And makin’ her think I was cool

Then that doggone nut broke

And busted out my spokes

My goodness, I thought I was dead

Then Beulah came runnin’

She thought I was a funnin'

That’s what I looked at my bike and I said

You picked a fine time to leave me loose wheel

Billy Bob & Beach Bear: (singing)

Showin’ off my old and big bicyclin’ skills

Billy Bob: (singing)

I could’ve won it, but now you’ve done done it

Billy Bob, Beach Bear, & Mitzi Mozzarella: (singing)

This time the hurtin’ won’t heal

Billy Bob & Beach Bear: (singing)

You picked a fine time to leave me loose wheel

You picked a fine time to leave me loose wheel

You picked a fine time to leave me loose wheel

[Song: Movin’ On Up (parody)]

Fatz: (singing)

Well shapin’ on up

All: (singing)

Shapin’ on up

Fatz: (singing)

Gotta get it together- yea

All: (singing)

Shapin’ on up

Fatz: (singing)

You gotta work to get the gold

All: (singing)

Shapin’ on up

Fatz: (singing)

That ain’t no lie

All: (singing)

Shapin’ on up

Fatz: (singing)

So, shapin’ on up

All: (singing)

Shapin’ on up

Fatz: (singing)

Gotta be fit ’n ready

All: (singing)

Shapin’ on up

Fatz: (singing)

Yea

Gonna do it now not wait ’till later

We don’t wanna be just a couch potat’uh

But we takin’ home all the gold

Do or die

La-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun

Dah-da-da-da

Dah-da-da

Dah-dah-da-dah-dah-daaa

Fatz:

See ya laters, couch potat’uhs